romantic moments for a bride and groom

Wedding Stress – Don’t get stressed by ‘wedding helpers’.

How to avoid wedding planning stress.

According to a recent study, 40% of couples said wedding planning as “extremely stressful” while 71% thought it was more nerve-wracking than other major life events like finding a new job or buying a home.

Another survey of the top 10 most stressful life events put planning a wedding at number 3 after the death of a loved one and getting a divorce.

Many couples said that finalizing the guest list was the most difficult and stressful part of wedding planning and caused the most disagreements with their partner.

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This will probably be a short one but I hope a helpful one.

During the conversations and meetings, I have with couples planning their weddings I hear lots of variations on “wedding helpers‘” stressing them out.

Everybody wants to help, everybody has an opinion about YOUR wedding day and it is easy to feel like you are losing control, become tempted to call the whole thing off or just run off to Gretna Green and get it over and done with.

We all want the memories of our wedding day to be of the best day of our lives and not nearly losing your best friend or your sanity.


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There may be people who are helping to pay for or have some other involvement in your wedding day and they may feel they have more of a say in the decisions. You should listen in detail, fully understand them, consider their point of view then tell them what you want for your wedding.

There is another way, stop and take some deep breaths, remember these people aren’t really trying to take over your day.

These are normally the people who genuinely care the most about you and want the very best for you so don’t scream at them or picture them face down in a wedding cake with your hand firmly holding their head, plan.

Make a list.

Put together a list of all the jobs and things that will need to be sorted and organised for your wedding day (take a look at our Wedding Checklist for ideas and inspiration). Think about who in your group can make these things happen.


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Assign your helpful friends and family with specific tasks and give them clear guidelines about what you want.


Don’t ask who wants to do what Tell them you have given these jobs lots of thought and have picked the people you feel will do the best at each task, be clear about how much scope they have and what you expect from them. Some tasks will be little teams, some will be left to individuals.


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Make a diary of when tasks need to be done and arrange to get together with the people responsible for each task, to do, plan or update.

It doesn’t have to be done like military operations but a little structure and knowing when things will be done will not only make sure it happens but it will stop misunderstanding and people feeling left or pushed out.

If you are meeting person A to talk about wedding stationery then people B & C  know you’ll be getting together with them on Friday to talk about finding a horse-drawn carriage that you will be arriving at the church in and persons D & E on Monday to talk about your bridal shower in Paris.

Talk to your vendors.

There’s a good chance that any one of your vendors has already been involved in more weddings than you will ever know about and will have answers to your questions and concerns if not there’s a very good chance they will know somebody who can help. Talk to them.

Have time off.

Make sure you have a few ‘none wedding nights’ it’s so easy especially in the last 6 months leading up to the wedding to have your whole life consumed by it. Have nights with the girls where the wedding is off limits and just be you. Have date nights with your partner that are about your two and not wedding planning.

Make it fun.

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This is the most important and sometimes the easiest thing to forget. A wedding is a joyful celebration and public declaration of your love for each other,

The most important aspect of the day is that you and your fiancé are there on the day and get married, second is that you share the day with the people you both care about.

Way down the list is worrying about if the shades of your bouquet match chair ribbons you have picked along with all the other minor details, “it’s all small stuff”

If you found this helpful please like and share it (below) it will help others find this article and if you have anything to add or comment please feel free to do so, it will help me to keep this content current and useful.

I have been putting together bits of useful wedding-related stuff and will be adding more soon. Have a looking the right-hand column for some more.

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